Blood is thicker than water, or at least it is supposed to be, but sometimes I think that the liquid that connects me and some of my cousins is Kool Aid. There is some of my family that I’m really close with and others, not so much.
Who says you can’t pick your family? Contrary to what people say, I can pick my 
family. I pick who I claim. I pick with whom I associate. I pick with whom I spend time. I pick who I pour into. I pick how much I interact with them and how much and what I tolerate from them. I pick the people in my life that I turn to when I’m going through life’s highs and lows. They are the people that are there for me consistently without hesitation. They do it expecting nothing in return, knowing that if the shoe was on the other foot, that I would be right there to help in whatever capacity I can.
As a child, I was always taught to do unto others as I would have them do unto me. As an adult, I’m learning that sometimes, you have to distance yourself from some people and love them from a distance. There are several branches of my family tree that I have distanced myself from because interacting with them is unhealthy. My relationship 
with them has never been great and it seems to have diminished over the years. Even though they are family, being around them bothers me because I have to pretend to be happy to see them when I’m really not.
Several years ago, I had a conversation with one of them about our relationship. We vowed to work on things, but it was short lived. I was willing to change and treat them different however; their treatment of me stayed the same. I don’t know why they thought that was going to work, but I just opted to walk away and not worry about it.
I’ve been called the mean girl in the family and sometimes a pitbull in a skirt, because I can be mean sometime, I’m moody, and I’m always off doing my own thing. My close cousins know that I participate if and when I feel like it. I do stuff if and when I feel like it. They know me and love me. They get how I am and they accept that about me. They also know, that I am not a cousin or family of convenience. I’m all or nothing. Some of my family has NEVER supported my branch of the family in anything. For that reason, I don’t support them or attend their events. Others might continue to send them invitations, optimistic that they’ll change, but I’m done. I’ve moved on.
Some of my cousins get so worked up about certain people in our family and the 
things they say or do or don’t do, and I have become the voice of reason, me, the baby. I always tell them “It’s not worth it. They are not worth it. You care, but they don’t. If they cared, they would behave differently.”
I’ve grown up over the years. Things that at one time I felt I should care about, I don’t anymore. I don’t need people in my life that act as though they don’t want to be there. This relationship is not vital to my happiness. Because we are connected by blood, or Kool Aid, I will love always, but I will do it from a distance. I will be cordial, when I see them, but I won’t let their existence affect me in mine.
Lessons Learned:
1) Sometimes you have to let people go.
2) Family isn’t always about blood.
3) You can love people from a distance.
LESSONS OF LOVE FROM MY FATHER 